Today seems to be another day I was searching for some answers. Though there were some answers but they were not direct enough to provide the necessary clarity. It's not that I am in such situation for the first time. Many times I know I have found my way out through the difficult paths. However each time feels different.
This made me think more deeply about Failures..
Almost all of us experience failures at some point in time in life about something or other - at school, in social circles, with family, at work, career, spirituality and many other places. Every time this hits us it seems to be the end of the world as if there is no tomorrow. The big question is – “Am I good enough?” stands out in bold in front of us. The failures are not spoken in public and we do not want anyone to know about it. We fear we will be further disrespected and looked down upon.
Recouping from this can sometimes takes a lot of time and in some case takes a toll on health affecting the overall happiness. In fact we do not need any coaching on success, but we all need guidance and help to deal with failures. We need emotional and mental support and yet surprisingly we seldom discuss it openly how much ever it hurts us.
Here is the 6 steps process to deal with Failures:
Step 1: Anticipate Failures
Anticipate failures in life as life is unpredictable and everything cannot be planned. Fear of failure is the biggest mind block in moving forward in life. Sometimes the fear of failure becomes bigger than the real failure. Hence it is better to train the mind for some amount of failures in life and also understand that it is ok and happens to everyone. The egoistic approach of "I cannot fail" may not be worthwhile to hold as it will prove out to be deceptive sooner or later. The more prepared you are, the lesser is the intensity of the shock which helps in the coping mechanism.
Step 2: Accept it quickly & face it
How much ever we may say "I can't believe this", the truth is - it has happened. So accept it as quickly as possible. Be willing to say to self, "I have failed in this but this is not the end of the world". As soon as we say this, we feel lighter. Know everyone fails in something or other and you are just another. It may hurt emotionally; have the courage to stay with your emotions. Avoiding emotions will intensify the same, so feel the failure fully and completely. Cry, scream, share - do whatever but face it in a healthy way. It may take a day or two, stay with it and keep asking -"What next?"
Step 3: Bounce back as quickly as possible
Don't allow failures to kill your passion as by doing that you give away your power to negativity. Google search on failures content and you will get many quotes and stories for self-motivation. Talk to someone who inspires you. Keep a circle from where you can draw positive energy. Bounce back as quickly as possible and work on future plans. Make modification in the plan if necessary and change the approach. Remember doing the same thing will produce same results.
Step 4: Be flexible with options on solutions
Once you are done with acceptance process and ready to move forward, work on the next step of finding options to your goal. Know that the end goal is - YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY. Don't have fixation on the path to the goal, have the goal clarity and know where you have to reach. The more flexible you are with the options to attain the goal, the easier the life will be. The fixation to do everything yourself will only stress you out. Be willing to share the problem and accept suggestions and help. Seek an expert advice if required, it could really save a lot of time and effort. It is not always necessary that all solutions must come from your idea only. Your strength also lies in quickly picking up an idea from outside and adapting to it.
Step 5: Be brave to Take Actions
Taking action is very important step. Neither procrastination nor inaction is the answer for any problem. Just by thinking about it for ages does not change anything in life - it is just "khayali pulao". Taking action means you are moving in some direction which could be right or wrong and you might end up in a new situation. Action does not guarantee permanent solution or permanent happiness. It only means you are moving and growing which is the only purpose of life. Sometimes taking action also opens up the door to opportunities. There is a risk of exposing yourself, but it should not scare you if you have the courage to be yourself. If you opt to fake - rest assure that the real happiness is very far from you and get ready for some bigger shakes in life.
Step 6: Focus on the end result not on the hurdles
Success story is an attitude of not giving up and staying with your purpose till the very end. In this busy world no one really cares if you give up. If we give up our friends & family may empathise with us for a little while and even they will move on. Know the need for success is one's personal goal and very less to do with anyone outside. Life will always challenge us with bigger hurdles and every hurdle is an opportunity to grow stronger. Focus on the end result and stay at it till the destination is reached. Resting at your destination will be really an enriched and worthwhile experience.